Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Why is Ann Coulter's Neck Such a Racist?

Ann Coulter's Neck has a lot to answer for. As you may know, Coulter—Official Aging Tranny of the right wing—wrote a column yesterday basically blaming minorities for the economic crisis. Yes, all those innocent, guileless banks have been made innocent victims of predatory borrowing behavior on the part of vicious, greedy poor people, most of whom are brown, black, or some other odious color besides white. In Mr. Coulter's own words,

Clinton's secretary of Housing and Urban Development, Andrew Cuomo, investigated Fannie Mae for racial discrimination and proposed that 50 percent of Fannie Mae's and Freddie Mac's portfolio be made up of loans to low- to moderate-income borrowers by the year 2001.

Instead of looking at "outdated criteria," such as the mortgage applicant's credit history and ability to make a down payment, banks were encouraged to consider nontraditional measures of credit-worthiness, such as having a good jump shot or having a missing child named "Caylee."

Now, I hear all of my readers saying, "But Tim, how can you blame Ann Coulter's Neck for something it didn't say? You should put the blame on Ann Coulter's blonde calfskin head." Well, you know what readers? That excuse just doesn't cut it anymore. Ann Coulter's Neck continues to prop up that angular, bony leather bile sack of a head year after year, no matter how many pathologically idiotic statements it makes. You can only hide behind a cascade of damaged, bleached pine needles for so long before you lose all credibility. Yes, that's what I'm saying. Ann Coulter's Neck has lost all credibility.

I'm calling for Ann Coulter's Neck to do the right thing and stick that head in path of the nearest MTA train. I recommend the 5 train going to the Bronx for added poetry.

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