Thursday, September 4, 2008

Bunch of Assholes

I'm about to ramble. I know it's kind of unseemly of me, and I usually like to just take the easy way out and post funny pictures of the nation's dumbasses, but isn't the blogosphere supposed to be about unbridled anger? Well, count me in today. What a bunch of f**king assholes the Republican party is. Really, Mitt Romney? The Democrats are the party of Big Brother? Really? Here are a few words in response to that, you fucktard: unwarranted wiretapping; Guantanamo; pissing on habeas corpus; government in the bedroom; theocracy.

Oh, and here's another couple words: book banning. Yes, as mayor of Wasilla, Alaska, new McCain Veep pick Sarah Palin wanted to fire a local librarian for not respecting her authority to decide what the public reads. Let's just be honest: if Palin weren’t a woman, it would be so dead obvious what the Republican party represents. If a typical white guy Republican had given the speech she gave last night, it would have been laughable that a political party that has f**ked up so much in the last 8 years is so sneeringly and brazenly unapologetic and dismissive not only of Democrats but of the 80 percent of the public who think the country’s f**ked. And now I'm going to be sexist and mean: I want to scratch that bitch’s eyes out, yank out that hair weave, and give it to that stupid baby they keep passing around for the cameras (and then asking the media to respect their family privacy) to spit up on. Is Downs Baby Trig on the ticket now? He's made more appearances at the convention than John freaking McCain. (Another thing: f**k Cindy McCain and her $300,000 convention wardrobe.)

Rudy Giuliani is a rat-faced whore. There, I said it. His comments about Obama being an elitist--this former mayor of the most cosmopolitan city in the U.S., who loves opera and the gay people who make it possible--would be laughable if they hadn't been so enthusiastically lapped up by the crowd.

On that note, let's unpack the Republican's weird pathological hatred for Obama, shall we? Let's see: he is the son of a single mother who pulled himself out of his modest circumstances through hard work, scholarships, and God-given brains, took the high road after finishing college to become a community organizer on the south side of Chicago--helping, among others, out-of-work former factory workers who had been left behind by local politicians, mind you--and later becoming a successful lawyer, writer, and lecturer, and later a state legislator and, of course, a national legislator. Obama, who the right likes to tag with the "no experience" label, then went on to run the most incredible political campaign in modern American history, beating--by a hair, of course--the formidable Clinton apparatus and bringing tons of new folks into the political process with his now-famous Internet fundraising campaign. He has not coasted. He's worked f**king hard. He wasn't plucked out of obscurity (like Palin) to be embraced by the public--he is where he is now because of talent and hard work. (Why am I such a sexist?)

Obama and his wife Michelle, she of that tres elite area of the country known as the south side of Chicago, are the embodiment of the American dream and they arrived at where they are by working hard, studying, being self-sufficient, and giving back. You would think these qualities would endear them to the "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" crowd in the GOP. But no, it doesn't. Why? What is it about the Obamas that could engender such animosity and bad will? What about them is different? What could it possibly be? I just can't put my finger on it.

"Elitist" tag + "no experience" tag + "affirmative action candidate" insinuation = "uppity black"

Oh, and one last thing about the Obamas. Consider this: if the Obamas had a 17-year-old daughter who is pregnant out of wedlock (by a shit-talking high school yahoo) and this information came out, would the GOP be celebrating this fact, fawning over the family and their (very public) choice to have the baby? Or would they be shit-scared of the dysfunctional black family that can't keep their pants on and that will destroy the country with entitlement programs? Interesting question to consider, no?

And now there's the sexism card being used on behalf of Palin, a tactic that a few months ago Palin decried the use of by the Hillary campaign. Again: what a bunch of assholes.

Deliver us, Jon Stewart:

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