Friday, September 5, 2008

Sarah Palin Answers Your Questions!

Because new Republican Veep Nominee Sarah Palin—the most successful cheerleader in all of Alaska—isn’t an elitist, she has agreed to answer questions from See Tim Blog readers. Thanks, Sarah!

Dear Sarah:

You are so cute, and you have a real way with snark. So obviously you are qualified to be the second most powerful person in the world, just like my mother and my crazy Aunt Barnacle. But, at the risk of sounding sexist, I just wondered—what are your plans for health care and can you tell us your thoughts on how the U.S. can best compete in the global marketplace with surging and seemingly unstoppable economies like those in China and India overshadowing the crippled American one and stuff?


Curious in Kentucky


Dear Curious:

Thanks for your questions and for watching my grand slam speech that I am now world famous for in which I slammed Barack Obama for his speeches.

The answer to both of your questions is: first, you must hang the moose head up or head down and then make a circular cut around the neck. Connect this cut with the one you’ve already made in the stomach during field dressing. (You
have already made this cut, right?) Then remove the hide by grasping the skin and pulling hard with both hands. (Make sure you are wearing a nail polish that matches the color of the knife handle; we’re not savages, ladies.) Use your knife to help free the hide from the carcass. Then get your hacksaw ready because you’ll have to use it to cut off the legs (just above the knees).

Then you send out rebate checks to all your Alaskan constituents and—poof—90 percent approval ratings!

Doing God’s Will in Iraq,

Sarah Palin xoxoxox

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