Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Sarah Palin Will Now Take Another One of Your Stupid Questions

Sarah Palin, our next great President of Wars and Jesus Libraries, is holed up in her Alaskan Moose lab preparing for her first hard-hitting interview with a national news poodle (in this case ABC's Charles Gibson) as a Vice Presidential candidate later this week. She returns today to SeeTimBlog to answer another reader question and she promised me that she won't call anyone a "community organizer."


Dear Governor Palin,

You are an inspiration to bald-faced female liars with children and full-time jobs everywhere. I can’t tell you how empowering I find your brazen disregard for the truth about your real record on the Bridge to Nowhere in speech after speech after speech. How do you do it, Sarah? How do you lie like a trail of caribou droppings in the Alaskan wilderness without even breaking a sweat? I’m in awe. Whenever I try to tell a lie that is provably false (dang that Internet and its youtubes), my eyelid starts twitching, which is a dead giveaway. And I only have 3 kids and one part-time job! What is your advice for aspiring female bullsh*tters?


Bad Bullsh*tter in Boca Raton


Dear Bad,

You should do what I did: get a decent—and versatile—weave for your hair (keeps 'em guessing!) and some thick-rimmed glasses and no one will even notice your twitching eyelids.

Keep up the underachieving!

Sarah xoxoxoxo

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