They Made This?: Cougar Town on ABC

This looks god-awful. Cougar Town? Ick. Come on, Courtney Cox. Do you really need to work that bad? Actual cougars from San Diego Zoo turned this role down.

David Letterman Has REALLY Upset 15 People Across the Nation

Holy shit, y'all. Watch this video and prepare to stare wide-eyed at the screen for two minutes. As you know David Letterman made a perfectly fine joke about Sarah Palin's daughter Bristol Palin getting knocked up by A-Rod last week at a Yankees game. (Bristol Palin is famous for two things: being Sarah Palin's daughter and getting knocked up. Wait, three things: having a hot 'n dumb baby daddy.) Unfortunately for Dave, Bristol Palin wasn't actually at that game, but her 14-year-old little sister Willow was, so Sarah Palin, always willing to use her children to win a news cycle, was OUTRAGED that Dave made a joke about raping her daughter! You betcha.

So, right-wingers across the country summoned all of their brain power and sent 15 of their best and brightest to protest outside the David Letterman Show building in Manhattan. (For real, there were 15 people there and about 30 people from the media to cover these 15 people.)

My personal favorite moment, besides when a woman calls David Letterman's wife a slut and another says that David Letterman "rapes children with his mouth" (your child could be next!), is when one of these anger bears actually starts shouting about closing the borders. Because, really, why is David Letterman letting all of these illegals into the country?!

When will Sarah Palin denounce these people as harmful to the self esteem of young girls? And young bastards? And slutty spouses?

They Made This?: New Renee Zellwegger Movie New In Town

Yikes. I've been meaning to start a new series here at the ole blog, one focused on stuff that people have taken the time to create, develop, and release into the marketplace that, when you see the evidence that it is forthcoming, you just can't believe your eyes. They made that?! you ask yourself.

Well, first on the docket is sweet-tart-faced Renee Zellwegger and her bland new movie, New in Town. Let me take a stab at a plot synopsis: she's a big city girl who just loooooves shoes and she somehow ends up in some podunk town in a northern clime full of zany characters who ultimately challenge our shallow but endearing heroine's preconceptions of rural America and she gets a good deep dickin' from some hot flannel-wearing guy named Bo with two left hands (literally), who convinces her that she's been wrong for so long about everything. Or something.

This movie looks awful, and that is all.