Right-Wing Trannie Ann Coulter Loves Right-Wing Blacks

Ann Coulter is the right wing's #1 trannie. She is also Fox News's #1 trannie, the Internet's #1 trannie, and the #1 trannie of nine out of ten dentists (that other guy prefers Orly Taitz). Anyway, when a top-tier aging right-wing trannie talks about black folks, people listen. Because it's bound to be hilarious.

So Ann claims that "our blacks" are so much better than "their blacks", which is self-evidently true, because, come on, Herman Cain? Alan Keyes? Allen West? These are grade-A, top-shelf super-blacks who are not at all crazy or dumb or in any way sociopathic. There's also Michael Steele, who has the best porn name in American politics, though he's disappointingly coherent and likable. But still, he's ten times better than "their blacks" because he tastes like dark, small government chocolate.

In conclusion, Ann Coulter's neck still, even after all these years, looks like the shaft of an erect penis.

Oh Nos! Ann Coulter's Neck Dropped From an Event!

Folks, you probably recall the recent announcement that Ann Coulter's Neck will be headlining a gay Republican event in NYC next month. This was very exciting news because it's August and there's no other news.

Well, in a recent and related development, the Neck has been disinvited from another crazy Republican party. Do you guys know World Net Daily? It's the magical place where all of those feverish, clammy, paranoid right-wing emails your mother and your mother's friends keep forwarding to you are created, out of bile, bloody stool, and animal skins. Anyway, these well adjusted comedians are having a Taking Back America conference in Miami, also taking place next month, but in a gayer city. And they are no longer interested in having America's best phallus appear at their event. Why is that? Is it because Ann Coulter's Neck is a secret Muslin? Does the Neck support a Muslin community center near Ground Zero? Is it a socialist Neck?

No! It's, duh, because by showing up at a gay event the Neck is tacitly supporting the gays (but only Republican the gays). And that's not going to help the furries at World Net Daily take America back.

Obviously this kick in the Adam's apple will not be taken lying down. I have no doubt that any minute now America's favorite Neck will hoist up that stringy blonde mop of a head and set it in front of some cable news camera or other so it can just stone cold start talking shit. Hurry up, Neck!

Ann Coulter's Neck to Headline Gay Republican Event in NYC!

Ann Coulter's Neck will be one among no doubt many ragged phalluses appearing at Homocon 2010, an event that exists! Somewhere! In New York City! It will take place on Saturday, September 25th. Where, I hear you ask? In NYC, I said! But specifically where? Again, my answer is "In the City part of New York." Jesus.

OK, stop asking your tedious questions about exactly where this event is being held because that location can only be known by gay Republicans, apparently. Trust me, I've been all over the website of GOProud , the organization hosting the alleged event (again, yes, it exists), and I can't find anything about a venue. WTF? GOProud? Gays love a party! Give it up. Where's it gonna be? Will there be poppers? And will we get to pet the Neck? (I'll never wash my hand again!)

The only thing that could make this event better is if Sarah Palin's Weave shows up.

Yay! Ann Coulter's Neck Is Back!!!!

Finally! After months and months in the wilderness, aging mummified right-wing bilesack Ann Coulter—and the handsome, sinewy Neck that dutifully props up her leather mouth pouch year after year—is back in business. Ann Coulter's Neck is out promoting a new book, dontcha know, all about how all Democrats are pussies, all Republican turncoats are women, all children of divorce are strippers, blah blah blah. The usual insights into the human condition, viewed through the eyes of a self-loathing she-male hopped up on Lithium and Appletinis. God, I've missed that Neck. But, really, Ann, such language. Do you kiss Republicans with that mouth? Or just Democrats?

Welcome back, sweets. Where would old fashioned family values be without you, your husband, and your God-fearing children to defend them? Oh, wait......

Why is Ann Coulter's Neck Such a Racist?

Ann Coulter's Neck has a lot to answer for. As you may know, Coulter—Official Aging Tranny of the right wing—wrote a column yesterday basically blaming minorities for the economic crisis. Yes, all those innocent, guileless banks have been made innocent victims of predatory borrowing behavior on the part of vicious, greedy poor people, most of whom are brown, black, or some other odious color besides white. In Mr. Coulter's own words,

Clinton's secretary of Housing and Urban Development, Andrew Cuomo, investigated Fannie Mae for racial discrimination and proposed that 50 percent of Fannie Mae's and Freddie Mac's portfolio be made up of loans to low- to moderate-income borrowers by the year 2001.

Instead of looking at "outdated criteria," such as the mortgage applicant's credit history and ability to make a down payment, banks were encouraged to consider nontraditional measures of credit-worthiness, such as having a good jump shot or having a missing child named "Caylee."

Now, I hear all of my readers saying, "But Tim, how can you blame Ann Coulter's Neck for something it didn't say? You should put the blame on Ann Coulter's blonde calfskin head." Well, you know what readers? That excuse just doesn't cut it anymore. Ann Coulter's Neck continues to prop up that angular, bony leather bile sack of a head year after year, no matter how many pathologically idiotic statements it makes. You can only hide behind a cascade of damaged, bleached pine needles for so long before you lose all credibility. Yes, that's what I'm saying. Ann Coulter's Neck has lost all credibility.

I'm calling for Ann Coulter's Neck to do the right thing and stick that head in path of the nearest MTA train. I recommend the 5 train going to the Bronx for added poetry.

But What Does Ann Coulter's Neck Think About This Whole Sarah Palin Thing?

It just occurred to me what has been missing from this retarded campaign season, and I can't believe it has taken me this long: where on Earth is Ann Coulter's Neck and what does it think of this whole Sarah Palin thing?

Now, I don't have cable, but I do have a series of tubes in my computer that allows me to see short video clips from all across the media wasteland, and once upon a time, I could be assured that at least three times a week I would have the opportunity to see that Neck in all its writhing and veiny glory as it struggled to hold up Ann Coulter's Head while it was being interviewed.

But where is Ann Coulter's Neck now? I know it got into some trouble in Tokyo in the recent past, but that was a year ago. Is it still around and I'm just missing it amid all the sexy librarian glasses, pregnant teenagers, Mooses with Downs syndrome, 72-year-old fish senators wrapped in newspaper, and sexy pigs busting out of the woodwork? Surely that Neck has an opinion about Palin, the first Republican woman to ever sexually arouse a Republican man.

Come back, Ann Coulter's Neck. This campaign needs you to class it up a little.