Tuesday, December 21, 2010

First Signs of the Apocalypse: Tune in Tokyo and Its Disgraceful Author Get Notice in a Major Magazine OMG

Folks, Publishers Weekly, the esteemed publication of the publishing industry that usually displays very good judgment in all things, has done the unthinkable and printed an article about me (with a photo) in their actual print magazine and not just on their website! This is the closest they will ever get to disseminating hard-core pornography, and will surely come back to haunt the PW folks’ dreams once Sarah Palin finds out about it and gets out her Twitter rifle. (This profile is available online here)

Not only did PW do this, but, in the same issue, they also gave my book, Tune in Tokyo: The Gaijin Diaries, a very favorable review (online here), which means they are more likely than ever to experience the flames of unholy hellfire when baby Jesus comes back during Armageddon to decree what books and magazines the saved get to take with them to heaven and which ones will be sent directly to one of Hell’s many mezzanines via Satan’s favorite vehicle, the Toyota Prius.

All of this depravity has been made possible thanks to PW’s first-ever PW Select quarterly self-publishing supplement, which is featured in the December 20 issue of PW. Below is a photo I took of the front page of the supplement, which mentions me and my book and OH MY GOD I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS IT’S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE SOMEBODY CALL RUDOLPH!

I'm speechless, but at least I can still type, so let's wrap this up: I guess my feelings can be best summed up by Laura Dern in Wild at Heart when she says to Nicholas Cage "You got me hotter than Georgia asphalt." Either that line or the one where Nicholas Cage says he has "a boner with a capital O."

1 comment:

Rachell Roth said...

two of my favorite lines from the movie along with, "they're making pornographic movies...texas style"