Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Ricky Martin is Finally Gay!

At long last, Ricky Martin is gay. I've been waiting for this day to come. It seems like just yesterday that Ricky was straight and singing duets with Madonna on his first American album or teaming up with Christian Aguilera. We all wanted him to be a big ole Mo, but what could we do? He obviously liked the ladies.

I remember buying La Vida Loca at my local Raleigh record store back in the terrible 1990s and staring in the face the judgmental hipster prick who rang me up, giving him a "yes, I am doing this, asshole" expression because, as impeccable as my taste in music usually is, I CAN NOT say no to a hot Puerto Rican guy wearing a tight sweater and singing at me. I just can't. (I also bought his previous album Vuelve, which is just as terrible/awesome, though less loca.)

Now that Ricky Martin is gay, he can do stuff like this

And this

And this

Y esto

freely without having to worry about the townspeople whispering about how gay he seems. Because the townspeople now know. No more whispering!

In conclusion, mor bch pcs, pls, Rck.


skpasell said...

I ran right to your blog when I found out! Congratulations! (even though we all always new it!)

jimmy said...

Tim loves Ricky! PS Sarah is gay

Muzzle Mammoth said...

Poor morose hipster record store guy- I hope he's since found his bliss.

Yea for Ricky Martin, who seems to have found his- and it may not be cool, but La Vida Loca was/is incredibly danceable, and personally, I think that should count for something.

PS No straight guys like Madonna. When A-Rod gets outed by one of her dancers, or busted doing some fancy foot tapping in an airport bathroom, I'll be saying I told you so.

Anonymous said...

I never knew he was gay! :O Since when?!

soccergurl1996 said...

OMG!!! he is gay?! that is HORRIBLE! ugh i hate this he should quit smoking immedietly!!!!! UGH UGH UGH UGH UGH UGH UGH UGH UGH! this ruined my whole new year. as cranky as i am, i HATE him way too much/: plus he doesnt have a perfect bod. SUCH A TURN OFF>