Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Movie Poster Critique: Brothers

Who among us sexual humans with beating hearts did not buckle at the sight of this movie poster when we stumbled out of the L train one night and felt a surge of respect for gay film marketing consultants pierce through our vodka buzz?

"My sweet Lord," I remember thinking. "Jake Gylenhaal is just ravenous for his brother Toby MacGuire's awesome hot butt cheeks." I also remember thinking, "What's Natalie Portman doing in this picture?"

Yes, leave it to Natalie Portman to totally ruin a perfectly good homo-neurotic movie poster with her buttinsky ways. Why is she interfering with what is surely the best doomed twink love story poster since Querelle or, at the very least, Brother Trouble (link NSFW!!)?

I'm not letting Natalie ruin another exquisite moment in the history of cinema postering. It's too late for Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium to be redeemed by my expert Photoshopping skills, but it's not too late for Brothers.

I therefore present to you the only Brothers movie poster I will hereafter recognize as legitimate:


Wood Family said...

Fascinating Facts About Me:

Saw Querelle in about 1991 at a midnight show--as an assignment for a graduate seminar I was taking, taught by Genet biographer Edmund White. I was drunk and all I remember are those freaky bright orange skies, the funny sailor costumes, and a lot of anal sex. Prof White assured me that's really all I needed to take away from it anyhow.

I had absolutely no idea when I signed up for the class that Edmund White was this Superstar of Academic Queerdom... I just wanted to take a class about Genet. The graduate queers in the class were incredibly pissed that White let undergrads in, (nevermind girls with cooties!) but what could they say? White was really really really nice and told funny stories and forgot to give homework and encouraged us to watch porn for credit.

Best part--Prof White called me up one morning during finals: "Hilary, what's the name of that cute boy you did your project with? Because I want to give you both A's but I forgot his name and don't know who to give the grade to." That could be one of the best phone calls of my life, come to think of it. (So glad I finally know someone who might actually give a shit about this!)

linda said...

They are hott!!! I hope Tobey or Jake will win an Oscar!!

Anonymous said...

'Brothers' truly was loaded with good stuff, from acting to cinematography to the overall storytelling quality, it rocked