Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Dutch Dingbat Rebuilds Noah's Ark, Thereby Proving Its Biblical Truth

Have you folks received this hysterical (in ALL senses of the word) email forward yet from all y'alls momz? About how a guy in Dutchland built a replica of Noah's Ark according to the building specifications that God laid out in the scriptures? Dutch Creationist Johan Huibers apparently built this flotation device "as a testament to his faith in the literal truth of the Bible." That's great for him and for all Christians, because now they have proof that the measurements laid out by God are structurally sound.

Now all Johan needs to do is gather together two of the same species of EVERY ANIMAL ON THE PLANET and tuck them away in their bunks in his new ark, take some pictures (no Photoshopping), and all of our religious doubts will be vaporized once and for all. Then we can all lose our shit and start talking to burning bushes, taking up residence in the bellies of whales, and, most fun of all, blaming women for eating apples and thereby forcing us to feel bad about walking around naked. Then we can start dealing with the muslins.

Is this guy friends with Sarah Palin on Facebook yet?

All I know is, Johan has definitely strengthened my belief in the Biblical truth of red sweaters and hot porn 'staches.