Whoops, I Forgot It Was Friday the 13th Today, So Here's A Terrifying Leftover Holiday Window Display to Molest Your Dreams

Sleep well!

Get Ready to Roll Your Eyes

Oh, Jesus, New York Post, you really are the worst, aren't you? When I saw this headline today I just about choked on my own tongue. Are you kidding me?

As some of you may know, there's a new book out called The Obamas that dishes some dirt on the supposed friction between Michelle Obama and members of the administration, particularly hot rod Rahm Emmanuel. (It is extremely important and relevant to note here that this book currently sits a mere four slots above my own book about the Obamas, Tune in Tokyo, on Amazon's Kindle nonfiction top 100 list OMG.) The White House has responded to the headlines this book has generated by downplaying the drama, and part of this effort was Michelle Obama doing a sit-down interview with, for some reason, Oprah's best friend Gayle King. During this interview, our FLOTUS said this (copied directly from the Post):

“But that’s been an image that people have tried to paint of me since, you know, the day Barack announced that I’m some angry, black woman.”

This is true! Remember the legend of the Michelle Obama "whitey" videotape that every right-wing reptile was dying to get their hands on? (And by the way, like I said, I copied and pasted the above quotation directly from the Post's website. Notice how they cheekily left out the comma that should go after the word announced so basically it looks like she's saying that Barack announced that Michelle is some angry black woman. Nice touch, guys.)

Anyway, so of course the media are going to cover this response of hers, and unfortunately the New York Post is classified as "the media," so of course we were bound to see something about this on the famously right-wing daily's front page this morning. And what did the bilious baboons over at the Post decide was the best headline for this story? That's right: Mad as Hell Michelle!

I bet the Post newsroom smells like a high school cafeteria.

Today in Growing Old Gracefully: Dale Bozzio of Missing Persons

I was reading that new book about MTV recently (the same one I referenced a few weeks back), and it was pretty a pretty fun read, with lots of dirt and a few stomach-turning moments. Everyone was such a drunk slut in the '80s. So gross and unfair. Anyway, one part in particular jumped out at me, because I'd been wondering whatever happened to Dale Bozzio, the lead singer of Missing Persons. Beth McCarthy, an MTV producer, explains on page 134:

Mark Goodman asked me to go to his dressing room to get some notes for him--I was the assistant to the line producer, so I would do errands for the VJs. I ran to his dressing room, opened the door, and, um, Les was getting a blow job from Dale Bozzio. I saw this out of the corner of my eye and closed the door very quickly.

Wait a minute, wait a minute. Dale Bozzio? Giving a blow job to the executive vice president for programming for MTV? That doesn't sound like her. Why would she do that? To get her videos played, sure, but why else? Anyway, Dale doesn't seem like the type of trollop that would suck on a dick to get ahead. I mean, look at her, does she look like the type a gal who would compromise her integrity just for the sake of some modest airplay on an upcoming cable network?



Okay, yeah she does. But how about we give Dale an opportunity defend herself on page 135 against this scurrilous rumor, shall we? Go ahead, Dale:

I don't have any comment. I appreciate your time, but I'm not interested in being interviewed, okay? I'd rather have nothing to say.

Okay, yeah, she did it. But who among us didn't give a blow job in the 80s for a little bit of airplay? We all did this. Poor Dale. I feel for her, this being the only thing she's remembered for in a 600-page book about MTV. But at least this passage led me to the Google machine to look her up. I hoped she was doing something life affirming and worthwhile, like growing medical marijuana or appearing in dinner theater productions of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. I was in for a bit of a letdown.

Oh how the mighty have gotten arrested. Yes, Dale was arrested for animal cruelty in 2008, an event that led to the above mugshot being taken of our dear Dale. She was convicted in 2009. So basically, Dale Bozzio has become a crazy cat lady. Except worse: she's a crazy cat lady who neglects her cats. WTF? This is a like an 80s pop singer who doesn't give blow jobs.

Anyway, this seems like as good a time as any to remember Dale Bozzio in better days, so watch this video, won't you?

Oh Yeah, and Before We Move on to 2012, Tune in Tokyo Was Named One of Publisher's Weekly's Favorite Reads of 2011!

It's true. Capping off a great year for TiT, Publisher's Weekly swooped in at the last minute and made my Christmas. I LOVE the first sentence of this blurb, which is a backhanded compliment of the first order: "Since this is “favorite” rather than “best”, I’d single out Tune in Tokyo by Tim Anderson as a laugh aloud treat."

PW has been so kind to Tune in Tokyo over the past year, for which I extend my heartfelt ありがとうず。I'm available for guest columns, interviews, and topless centerfolds should the need arise, y'all. Just let me know!

Escape From New York: Christmas in Chinatown, Then New Year in Raleigh

Folks, for some reason, it's hard to get back to blogging after two weeks or so of not doing it for whatever reason (laziness). Why is that? Is it because it's a challenge to logically present all the idiotic, useless things bouncing around in one's head since Christmas that probably nobody wants to read about? Maybe.

So anyway, one way of getting through this blogger's block is to just force you guys to look through photos of all the stuff I got up to on my Christmas vacation! So this post is going to be HUGE because there's lots of territory to cover and I'm impatient to get it over with. Or, if not HUGE, it's at least going to have a lot of pictures, which the illiterates among you will really lov. Onwards!

Jimmy and I had our usual Christmas-day-in-Chinatown face stuffing. The picture up top is my curry chicken noodle soup and above is Jimmy making his way through beef something-or-other with rice. His hand is blurry because he's eating fast, in order to eat more. After Christmas, I headed down to Raleigh to see the family AND to have a Tune in Tokyo event at Humble Pie downtown on the 28th, yay! Stella didn't want me to go:

But I did, and here is the only picture I have of the event because I forgot to ask folks to take pictures. :(

Yes, that's a Hello Kitty toaster on the display table and no, you can't have it.

Willis, my friend Dani's cat, was devastated that he didn't get to go to my reading but he made himself feel better by eating a couple cheeseburgers and getting even fatter. Ok, bummer alert:

As some of you may remember, my Dad died last December 29. Well, this year on that day I went to lunch with my mom and my brother Kevin, then we went over to the Columbarium where his ashes lay and visited for a little while. It was a nice, sunny day, and it was thoroughly lovely. Mom's doing very well!

I think it was the next day that Kevin and I went on a walk behind the art museum, and there were some fun installations on display. The above one was my favorite because it was made of tires, and I love rubber.

Then I went over to my friends Ruth and Mike's house for steaks and met my friend Deana's new baby, who is a peanut. Oh my God he was just mesmerizing...

On New Year's Eve afternoon, Kevin and I went downtown to Fayetteville Street because we heard there was going to be a Ferris Wheel in the middle of the street. I wanted to ride it! Sadly, the line was way too long because it was the only fun, non-alcoholic thing on offer at the time, so we didn't bother. But we did keep walking because I wanted to see the big acorn that always drops from a crane as Raleigh's answer to Time's Square's juicy apple. It wasn't hoisted onto the crane at the time so I was able to get a close-up.

There was also ice skating happening...

But we weren't in the mood for that. What we were in the mood for was alcohol, if I'm being honest, so we went to the Raleigh Times bar and had a few very large draft beers while sitting outside and enjoying the view of folks gathering for the evening's festivities. We stayed there until it was too dark and cold to enjoy ourselves and then made our way back through the center of Fayetteville Street and what we soon realized was a parade. I love a parade!

After stopping in at Brewmasters to stuff our faces full of THE AWESOME FOOD THERE, we walked through Nash Square back to Kevin's car and for the first time I saw the firefighters memorial that had been erected there in 2006. It was all lit up so I took a picture...

Also, do you like dogs, especially puppies? Then you would love Kevin's young pup Griffin, who is so hyper and excited that he's very hard to photograph. But I managed to get a decent shot of him when he was briefly still behind the fence of Kevin's back yard.

And here's another of Griffin and his buddy Youna, who is also an attention hog and never sits still, so I had to move away to take this one, therefore they look like unhappy prisoner dogs but they are not!

On my last night, mom, Kevin and I sat around the table and I finally got Kevin on video playing his teeth like a xylophone, which I've been meaning to do forever. Enjoy this clip, kids...

And that is all! Happy New Year, six days late when it's old news and no one cares anymore because Michele Bachman's husband will never be First Lady, which is so sad!

Chopsticks NY Reviews Tune in Tokyo

Ladies, Chopsticks NY is a bi-weekly magazine that covers all things Japan in NYC. Well, hold on to your bobby socks, because they've given Tune in Tokyo a great review! Go read it and patronize their sponsors or something!

Merry Christmas from See Tim Blog

Merry Christmas, world! (Sorry the sound is so squeaky, this was recorded on a dang Droid, gimme a break. At least I turned on the light behind me--that made all the difference. [I was inside way too long today.])

My First Japanese Media Interview!

Folks, you may have never heard of the Japanese website Axiom before, but you have now because I've told you about it. It's an awesome site! Anyway, they're running a fun interview with yours truly now and you should go read it and learn something about yourself and also me (mostly me).

New Interview Up Over at the Pubslush Blog

Pubslush Press is an interesting new publishing venture where writers can submit ten pages and a summary of a manuscript that will then be available to readers, and if the manuscript receives enough reader support it will then be published by Pubslush. And "for every book sold a book will be donated to a child in need." Awesome, no?

Anyway, so they interviewed me for their blog and its up on the site now here:

And here is a handy yootoob explaining the Pubslush deal.

Holy Crap, Tune in Tokyo Excerpt Is Up on Boing Boing!

Read it here.

TiT Love from Shelf Awareness

Tune in Tokyo has gotten a GREAT review over at Shelf Awareness, check it out immediately!

NYC Elevator Horror is the Latest Thing, Apparently

Good God, as if we need more reasons to feel twitchy in an elevator, now there have been two (2!) horrific elevator deaths in the past week in New York. The first? Oh just an ad executive lady who got crushed by an elevator that she stepped into last Wednesday morning. The second? Oh, you know, just your typical "crazy dude with a weird vendetta sprays flammable liquid all over his elderly neighbor then sets her alight with a Molotov cocktail. In the elevator."

I think I probably speak for everyone when I say, "I think from now on I'll just take the stairs to my 8th floor office." And polyester is hella flammable, yes? So also, "I think from now on I will change into my polyester pants after getting safely to work."

RIP to both of these poor women. Just awful.

Remembrance: Kirsty MacColl, Killed 11 Years Ago Today

Many folks who know me know that I'm a freak about this Kirsty MacColl lady that they've never heard of. I am! And if you are a fan of classic British pop, you should be one, too. Kirsty is best known in this country for her duet with the Pogues on their gorgeous Christmas song "Fairytale of New York" from 1987. She should have been famous for much more, but she never got her due, then she was killed in the year 2000 in a freak/horrific boating accident in Mexico. It's a sad, sad story that will never make sense. She was only 41. 41! Senseless.

But you can console me by exploring Kirsty's back catalog. I recommend, first and foremost, that you check out her final album, the sunny and celebratory Tropical Brainstorm, which she made with Cuban musicians. She was in saucy form, singing songs about sex and making love and doing it and shagging and f**king and other things like that. (My favorite track: "Us Amazonians") You should also get her album Kite, which is a great collection of British jangle pop that includes a great cover of "You Just Haven't Earned It Yet, Baby." Also, get Galore, her hits collection, which includes all the greats, plus spectacular early single "He's On the Beach," as well as a cover of Lou Reed's "Perfect Day," which she sings with Evan Dando of the Lemonheads, as well as "Caroline," a song she described as "Jolene's reply" to Dolly Parton. Also, here is a great BBC2 documentary about her life in music.

RIP, Kirsty. You are missed more as the years troll on toward oblivion, especially looking at how many dumb/tedious/idiotic/talentless pop stars are still alive.

Here she is with the Pogues in better days. Look for the cameo by Matt Dillon!

Shameless Plugs: Merry Monsters!

Folks, I think it's about time for another Tim Stamp of Approval because 'tis the season and all that. What, I can hear you asking, is my favorite new product on the market? The answer is going to save your Christmas: Merry Monsters.

These dolls are handmade, adorable, and best of all, they have hilarious backstories! Take Sasha, for instance:

Meet Sasha. She's a monster of the very kindest kind. Although most of her counterparts are ravenous carnivores, Sasha is a vegetarian. She is a friend to all animals and humans. She's never met a stranger. She's the monster that will approach you in the grocery store and advise you not to purchase the grapes because the current batch is sour. She's the monster that will sit beside you on the bus to talk about the weather. She's the first one at the water cooler to talk about last nights episode of "30 Rock". Don't worry, she understands quiet time too, always willing to just sit and hold your hand.

Sasha, who currently resides on my bed, obviously has great taste in teevee shows, and she's got Tina Turner hair to boot.



But things get even cuter, because here comes Iggy:

Meet Iggy. Iggy (formally Ignatious; although the only one who dares call him that is his mother. And she has refrained from doing so since the incident in 2003) has turned over a new leaf. Until now, the biggest commitment he'd made was to his punk rock LP collection. It turns out all the stage diving and mosh pits left him feeling a little empty inside. He wants you to fill the void. His exterior may seem a little rough. The truth is he has a heart of gold. He spends his spare time these days rescuing kittens from too tall trees, helping old ladies cross the street and volunteering at the soup kitchen. It won't take much to convince him to come live with you. In fact, you had him at "hello".

Yeah, Iggy and I used to go to the same clubs in the '80s. Anyway, Iggy and Sasha share a bed, but they are platonic, because they aren't really each other's type. But apparently they are both my boyfriend Jimmy's type because he clings to them at night like a lovesick fraggle.



Get your own Merry Monster here!

Tune in Tokyo Launch Party at Wix Lounge

The Tune in Tokyo book launch at Wix Lounge was a blast last Wednesday, and I want to thank everyone who came out and the folks at Wix for helping us put on such a great party! I hope everyone got to meet my mother and that she got a chance to tell you that she didn't raise me to use such awful language.

This photo was taken just a few moments before the microphone died because I was holding it too close to my mouth.

Rice cakes, Pocky sticks, sake, Japanese beer, some sushis, and paper plates were all on offer.

Some of my homemade (by that I mean "from a pre-made dough") Tune in Tokyo cookies.

Me signing a book while the cookies look on.

The crowd enjoys itself immeasurably.

Folks stone cold listenin'.

A great shot of me and momma, she in her lovely Christmas sweater.

I was briefly interrupted by a poltergeist during my reading.

The merchandise.

When party photography gets artistic.

You can see more pics on Wix's Facebook page here.