Friday, October 31, 2008

Freedom's Last Halloween

Enjoy your last weekend of slutty freedom before God's chosen candidates—after being elected by a stolen landslide—force you to marry that person you will randomly hook up with this weekend and decree that by American law you must breed for Jesus. Elizabeth Dole will officiate and you will honeymoon in rural Appalachia, where real patriots hatch their offspring and bring them up to happily fight our 100-year-war in Iran.

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