Monday, October 13, 2008

Gail Collins Has a Smart Little Mouth

I know her colleague and fellow Times columnist Paul Krugman just won the Nobel Prize for economics, but Miss Gail Collins should have won for Hilarity. Her latest column is another collection of one-liners for the ages.

On McCain and the crazy:
Now, [McCain]’s beginning to act like one of those movie characters who steals the wrong ring and turns into a troll. During that last debate, while he was wandering around the stage, you almost expected to hear him start muttering: 'We wants it. We needs it.'

On Palin's Nuremburg rallies full of racist innuendoes and actual threats of violence:
The rest of the country is supposed to watch and conclude that this would be an enjoyable way to spend the next four years.

On the choice of Palin as veep:
I miss MItt Romney...when we got bored, we could always talk about how he drove to Canada with his Irish setter strapped to the car roof.

On the current president:
I miss the old George W. Bush. When he came out of the White House and made an announcement, you would usually think that whatever he wanted to do was a terrible idea. But at least you thought he could actually make the terrible idea happen.

On Cindy McCain:
I miss the old Cindy McCain. The one who used to go to rallies and sit huddled in the corner looking as if she thought the audience had a communicable disease.

On Sarah Palin:
Palin has been pressing the line that people don’t really know “the real Barack Obama,” and who could make the argument better than a woman who we’ve already known for almost six weeks? Really, she’s like one of the family.

I want this woman at my next family reunion.

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