Things I'd Rather Do Than Ever Read Another NYT Column by Bono

Folks, this is how horrific Bono's column in the New York Times was yesterday. I would rather do any of the following than to ever have to experience that type of thing again:

1. Read a New York Times op-ed by Ann Coulter.
2. Watch Ann Coulter flirt with and discuss sodomy with Mike Huckabee.
3. Watch Ann Coulter take a shower. (shiver)
4. Listen to Ann Coulter having an orgasm.
5. Watch Ann Coulter mud wrestle Larry King nude.
6. Make love to Ann Coulter.
7. Rent an apartment from Ann Coulter.
8. See Ann Coulter’s secret freckle.
9. Visit an Ann Coulter fan club meeting.
10. Listen to Ann Coulter’s new single “Baby Mama’s Baby (Gonna Kill You Maybe)”

I'm not kidding.