NYC Newscaster Sue Simmons Will Cut You

Identifying who you’d rather have a beer with is a perfectly acceptable way to choose the man or woman who will be the next President of the United States. There’s no question about that. But what about when you’re choosing which local newscaster you trust the most? It’s not so cut and dried and apparently.

See, I’ve always loved Sue Simmons, the co-anchor of the 11 o’clock 4 New York news (“I’m 4 New York!”). I’ve just always had that special feeling about her that, you know, here is someone I would love to party with. You know, have some wine, a steak dinner, a banana split, and then some shots. (She could choose what kind, I trust her.) Not only that, I could also rely on her to totally and completely deliver unto me the nightly rundown of power outages, high gas prices, random shootings, train delays, and outraged citizens that make up the nightly news. But after seeing this clip on the teevee last night, I’m thinking that Sue Simmons may not be the best person to take to a bar with all that booze and glass at her fingertips. I’m sure she wouldn’t cut me, but she might cut you.