Friday, May 2, 2008


I've really outdone myself and need to be praised. As all of you surely know, Blade Runner is the best movie ever made. This has been proven by science. And those of us for whom the movie is not just something to watch but is something to spend one's life watching—Bladeheads, if you will (I just made that up!)—were thrown a big, long, rock-hard bone last December when the Blade Runner Final Cut Five-Disc Ultimate Collector's Edition DVD was released into our lives. There was so much to choose from, so much. From

"There are SEVEN different DVD sets on pre-order at present (in the US - I wish I could say all countries would have exactly the same releases, but it seems I can't) - which you choose will depend on where you stand on the range of "like the movie" to "totally obsessed" (like me). What you get depends on whether you want 2, 4 or 5 discs, Standard DVD, HD-DVD or Blu-Ray and if you want the super-everything including collectibles briefcase or not (I'm not kidding)."

I bought the 5 disc set, of course, because I'm not afraid of a challenge. It came in a silver briefcase modeled after the one Harrison Ford's Deckard carried around. (What? I needed a new one for work. It's not weird. Shut up.) I wasn't sure I would be able to make it through all 5 discs, at first, because I'm only human (not a replicant, like Rick Deckard).

Well congratulate me. I've scaled the mountain and achieved the summit. And the view is so pretty. Yes, I've watched every single thing there is to watch on every single disc: 4 versions of the movie (one with commentary!); a 3-hour documentary; several hours of short featurettes; deleted scenes; screen tests; and other stuff that I've forgotten because of all the weed I was smoking during this time.

I hope my story serves to inspire, to let the people of the world know that whenever you're in doubt about your abilities to get things done--even against seemingly insurmountable odds--just take a deep breath, sit down, turn on your television, then turn on your DVD player, then hit the "function button" on the gray TV remote, then take the DVD remote and choose the correct disc, and press play. Yes you can!

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