Monday, July 21, 2008

Sunday Evening at the IKEA with Tim: An Inner Monologue

6:15 – Wow. This place is huge. Like the Emerald City or Tara or the Neverland Ranch.
6:30 – They have Swedish meatballs here? And chicken fingers and fries? And some kind of chocolate, caramel, and crispy rice tort? I’m starving all of a sudden.
7:00 – Mmm. Nothing like a high-carb, full fat meal to put one in the mood for trolling around showrooms and debating the relative merits of round end tables vs. square end tables.
7:11 – God I hate shopping. Can we eat again?
7:25 – Sofa, chosen. Bed frame and mattress, chosen.
7:34 – [silent, reverential viewing of the Statue of Liberty at the window while burping up Swedish meatballs]
7:42 - Coffee table, chosen. Easy chair, chosen.
7:46 – Shouldn’t all of these children be strapped into their beds by now?
7:52 – It’s kind of amazing how just anyone is allowed to have kids.
8:01 – Sofa, sold out. Bed frame and mattress, sold out.
8:13 – Frozen Swedish meatballs, chosen.
8:17 – I wonder what the Swedish word for guido is…..
8:20 - Coffee table, sold out. Easy chair, sold out.
8:24 – Where’s the wet bar?
8:33 – Wow, a 99 cent breakfast combo. What time is it?…
8:39 - Jimmy's prediction was right; this was more fun than Coney Island.

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