Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Santa Unable to Save Christmas This Year



Well, it's official. Christmas is officially ruined forever, thanks to the immense debt Santa and his wife have taken on in the past few years buying up x-boxes, Wiis, and stupid Elmo dolls for spoiled, truculent children the world over whose parents couldn't repay the loans and figured that Santa would just take care of it. Well guess what, dummies, Santa is only human, and he cannot be expected to just absorb your bad debts, like he was the US government or something.

Anyway, because his sleigh has been repossessed and most of his reindeer have died of starvation, now poor Santa and his lone remaining reindeer, Blitzen, have to use a complicated (but cheap) system of pulleys, wires, and harnesses to scale what were once—in better times—easily scalable buildings so they can get inside and deliver a bag full of depressing toys—like the window squeegee pictured above—to sad, desperate children who will just cry when they realize that the squeegee is all they're getting because their parents are complete and utter bankrupted failures.

Also, sleighless Santa has had to start his delivery two days early, which means, children, that the squeegees very possibly didn't have time to go through his usually rigorous safety testing and will no doubt fall apart when you get them wet, and may very well kill you since they're made of second-hand razor blades.

But look at the bright side: one of these years we'll look back on 2008 as the good old days.

1 comment:

平平 said...

^^Thanks!!

婚前徵信婚姻感情大陸抓姦外遇抓姦法律諮詢家暴婚前徵信尋人感情挽回大陸抓姦離婚工商徵信婚前徵信外遇抓姦感情挽回尋人大陸抓姦離婚家暴工商徵信法律諮詢跟蹤工商徵信婚前徵信感情挽回外遇抓姦法律諮詢家暴尋人大陸抓姦離婚大陸抓姦外遇尋人家暴工商徵信法律諮詢家暴感情挽回大陸抓姦外遇婚前徵信離婚尋人工商徵信外遇抓姦法律諮詢家暴婚前徵信大陸抓姦尋人感情挽回外遇抓姦婚前徵信感情挽回尋人大陸抓姦工商徵信法律諮詢離婚家暴工商徵信外遇抓姦法律諮詢家暴婚前徵信尋人感情挽回大陸抓姦離婚婚前徵信工商徵信外遇抓姦尋人離婚家暴大陸抓姦感情挽回法律諮詢離婚感情挽回婚前徵信外遇抓姦家暴尋人工商徵信外遇抓姦法律諮詢家暴婚前徵信尋人感情挽回">徵大陸抓姦離婚婚前徵信工商徵信外遇抓姦尋人離婚家暴大陸抓姦感情挽回法律諮詢