Sunday, November 16, 2008

Marriage-minded Gays Make the Best Signs

Like thousands of other pissed off homos, I went to the Prop 8 protest in New York on Saturday. I've never really had a dog in the "gay marriage" race. It was never that important to me when I was younger, because I figured I would just screw hot guys for the rest of my life--you know, to make up for lost time. What did I want with marriage? Then I met Jimmy in my mid-20s and we've spent 11 years together living in sin (minus 2 years I spent in Tokyo)--longer by 9 years, mind you, than the majority of first marriages in the country.

And, you know, the longer Jimmy and I are together the more fed up I become with stupid breeders that cling to fictitious definitions of marriage and use them to keep couples like Jimmy and I--who have spent over a decade together with no fanfare and, more importantly, no freaking wedding gifts--second class citizens undeserving of the same rights given to knocked up Alaskan 17-year-olds and their retarded 17-year-old baby daddies. Even though we've never really seriously talked about getting hitched, the Prop 8 vote on November 4 and the experience of being at the rally on Saturday almost made me want to text Jimmy and ask him for his hand in fake gay marriage. He was not at the rally, sadly, because he had to work, and he wouldn't have gone anyway, because he's antisocial and hates crowds. But I think he would probably have said yes, if I mentioned all the gifts we'd get, and the possibility of health insurance for him. We really need a new toaster, and he really needs a physical exam.

But the real magic of the rally was, of course, the homemade signs, because gays are bitchy and, these days, pretty annoyed. Here are some pics I was able to get. Click to enlarge (tee-hee) and enjoy and OH MY GOD WANDA SYKES IS GAY??!!

"I Will Not Be Tolerated"

"Protect Marriage: Ban Divorce"

"Keep Your Church Out of My State"


charlieperry said...

You've probably seen this but I really liked Keith Olbermann's special comment on prop 8(

Set up a wedding list and I'll shout you guys a toaster.

Muzzle Mammoth said...

Please, if you ask for Jimmy's hand, don't ask him to "fake" marry you- that's a pretty lame proposal.

But if you guys decide to get married, I promise to recognize your marriage is as valid as mine, even if the state doesn't. And also, either gifts you registered for or money, whichever.