Oh, aren't you all just sick and tired of hearing about bloated reptilian taintsack Rush Limbaugh? I know, I know, he's just gross and not really worth expending any typing energy on. (Save those fingertips for Sarah Palin, I always say.) And if this were any normal boring "Rush Limbaugh said a bunch of dumb bullshit using his special patented brand of special-needs satire" I wouldn't even be typing right now. But the fact that Rush Limbaugh is such a f**king pussy makes me want to type that phrase over and over and over.
As you no doubt know, Rush called a Georgetown law student a "slut" and a "prostitute" because she wants health plans to be required to cover contraceptives, for various reasons. Rush, because he doesn't really understand how lady parts work, thinks that this student, Sandra Fluke, just wants the government to pay for her and her friends' sexytime, all the time, and also seems to think that every time a lady has the sex she must put a pill into her vag. (I'm told on good authority this is not true!)
So whatever, he called this nice young lady some ridiculous names and the shit predictably hits the fan, as usual. But the most annoying thing about this whole episode--besides the fact that we must dwell on a figure of such Biblical monstrosity as this vulgar radio commentator pig who is so flush with cash he could live anywhere but decides to live in fucking FLORIDA--is that, when he's forced to apologize by his advertisers and by Clear Channel or whatever, he can't even do it like a man. He can't just fess up and say "sorry, I was a total asshole, I regret it, I hope you can forgive me." No, he has to twist his apology into a limp attack on "the left," whoever they are (Radiohead?). Read this idiocy:
"I don't expect, and I know you don't either, morality or intellectual honesty from the left," he said. "...This is the mistake I made: in fighting them on this issue last week, I became like them. Against my own instincts, against my own knowledge, against everything I know to be right and wrong, I descended to their level. I feel very badly about that."
Yeah. What a f**king lame-ass mother**ker. "Sorry, It's "the left"'s fault, because of bad morals/slutz." Pitiful. I thought Republicans were the party of personal responsibility. But really, have they ever fessed up to anything that they've done? ANYTHING? Have we even heard George W. Bush's name uttered at any of the 1,079 Republican presidential debates? No, because who's that? Holy shitsnacks. Rush Limbaugh is a three-year-old saying "Not me!" What a tired piece of trash.
In conclusion, this man has had four wives. Women have f**ked him. Sweet dreams.
Also, I've had vodka tonight.
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