Thursday, July 23, 2009

New Kinder, Gentler Death Star Introduced at Shanghai World Expo 2010

This is going to be great for China's image, especially in the wake of all that bothersome Tiananmen Square Massacre anniversary commemoration a few weeks back, during which the Communist Party had to constantly distract its huge populace by jamming the Internet with reruns of Saved by the Bell to remind everyone of the atrocities America has committed.

As you know, the last Death Star was way harsh, and what it did to Princess Leia's home planet of Alderaan is absolutely unforgivable. Its image suffered greatly and it was ultimately destroyed by Yoda or the Ewoks or something. But China is ready to turn the page on this shameful moment in our recent intergalactic history with its introduction of a new, pleasingly colorful and hypnotic Death Star, currently on display at the China Pavilion of the Shanghai World Expo exhibition being held in Beijing.

The Chinese government has promised that this new all-powerful sphere will not engage in the cold-blooded destruction of defenseless planets or harbor heavy breathing mushroom-headed evil jedi.

But it will be monitoring your Twitter and Facebook accounts, so be careful, nerds.

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