Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Why Do Subway Pranksters Always Blame America First?

You subway riders know the drill: there's a nice innocuous billboard on the platform advertising some dumb program or other, and the prominent female in the picture--sometimes Heidi Klum, sometimes some other random reality show ho-bag--invariably has her face, uh, defaced with a hastily drawn cock and balls pointing to/jizzing in her mouth. This type of prank is often funny, because cartoon cocks are so adorable. But it is also sometimes sinister, like when a prankster openly expresses a favorable opinion of a lefty commie America-hater like Noam Chomsky.

Some elitist youngster has repurposed the new Snickers "snacklish" ad campaign for his own nefarious Stalinist ends. The above advertisement, at the Metropolitan stop on the G train, used to say "File for workman's CHOMPENSATION." This is the patriotic message Snickers wanted to convey, and one that every real American could salute, because who doesn't want free Snickers bars from the government? But some eggheaded street pinko hooligan decided that the intended message was not unChristian enough, so he changed it to the devil's own language, playing off Chomsky's name. In case you didn't know, "chompsky" is a Satanic word that means "f**king democracy in the ass with no lube."

This is what the billboard is supposed to say, in God's language.

Why hasn't Obama rounded up these subway pranksters and waterboarded them yet?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Technically, Chompsky is a social anarchist.