Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Let's All Remember Better Days, When Michelle Shocked Danced Like a Lesbian While Surrounded by Hot Dudes in Speedos

Remember Michelle Shocked? From the late-80s? She had some nice songs! I loved her Captain Swing album, and that "Anchorage" song. Anyway, she's apparently lost her damn mind and now hates what her church apparently calls "fags."

Let's just say it: it's really weird when Rachel Maddow's folkie doppelganger starts wriggling around in gay hate. If you'd given me a list of ladies in the music industry who were modestly popular twenty years ago and forced me to choose which of them secretly hated all the nice boys who helped them with their makeup and wardrobe backstage, Michelle Shocked is pretty much the last one I would pick, if she was on that list.

This seems like an exceedingly dumb move on her part. Her fan base is mainly gay people and people that are cool with gay people. And she used to be a lesbian, right? And even when she wasn't a lesbian anymore she still looked like one. And even when she didn't look like a lesbian, she still looked like the nice gay boy next door. My point is, why, Michelle, why?

I personally think the rumblings about mental illness having something to do with this ring true. Because this was seriously random. I mean, yes, she's a born-again Christian, but does that necessarily mean that she's lost all sense of proportion and proper decorum? Lesbians never lose a sense of decorum! (They may not be able to dress for it, but they don't lose a sense of it!) When she joined the West Angeles Church of God, was it a foregone conclusion that she would soon cut the same hilariously bonkers path that Victoria Jackson started going down a few years ago before we were all living in a socialist-communist-Muslim-terrorist utopia hellscape?

So anyway, enjoy the video above, an artifact of when things were simpler and we didn't have to be talking about whether dudes marrying other dudes was going to usher in the end of days because we were too busy watching MTV all day long until that Michelle Shocked video came back on and we could see some sinewy dudes posing in Speedos and thereby breathe again.


Laurie said...

Is this for serious?!?!? Short Sharp Shocked defined my college years for fuck's sake.

jimmy said...

Michelle Shocked needs to give it up and take that much needed Olivia Cruise to the isle of Lesbos.