This Doll Is Gonna Eat Your Face While You Sleep

My one regular reader might remember that my mom loves dolls and Christmas things/figurines and giant terrifying Santas. She collects these things, snapping them up wherever and whenever she finds them, be it a terrifying year-round Christmas shoppe, a mail-order catalog, or a friend with extras she wants to get rid of.

Apparently that's how the above doll in a box came into mom's possession. My blood ran cold when I saw it in the garage on my recent visit down to North Carolina because it looked exactly like THE DOLL OF ALL HUMAN NIGHTMARES. Let's take a closer look.



Yep, that's the one.

"Isn't she precious?" Mom asked/told me.

"Yes," I whispered, lower lip quivering. "P-p-precious."

Then I moved in closer to see what message was printed on the front of the box in a cutesy scribble to convince me that this doll was not stolen from the devil's secret stash.



Once upon a time there was a doll created by a coven of witches with an agenda and it scratched your eyes out on your birthday, the end.