Monday, April 30, 2012

horrific injuries dept: big-ass truck edition

sorry for the long silence, loyal reader, but i do have a good reason. last tuesday i was in a terrible bicycle accident that fractured my index finger and robbed me not only of my beloved fingernail but also of a lot of blood and buckets of little girl tears. it was painful!

it's the world's oldest story: bicyclist approaches the intersection of Houston and 1st Avenue and sees that a truckosaurus is blocking the bike lane, bicyclist stays behind the truck as it turns left and, as it slowly moves forward, looks behind him to see if there's any oncoming vehicles so he can go around the truck to continue straight on 1st, bicyclist turns back around and sees the truck has inexplicably stopped, bicyclist swerves to avoid hurtling into the truck but instead slams into the back, bicyclist scampers to get out of the street only realizing when he gets to the other side that his hand is a blood fountain and his finger looks like it was gnawed on by a wild boar.

cue ambulance, waiting room, waiting, blood, white hot pain, waiting, x-rays, stitches, sutures, hair, make-up, wardrobe, nausea, all of it. the photo above is of the aftermath of my residency at the bellevue emergency room. i also have photos of my finger, but they will make you hurl, so i'm holding back and not posting them. obviously, after such a harrowing experience followed by two days of painkillers, one-handed typing, and worrying whether i'd ever play my viola again, i needed a drink.

on friday i went to the bellevue hand clinic and they made me a splint that looks like a ballet flat. people think it's adorable, which undermines me utterly, because what my dancing finger shoe hides is a world of pain and horror. I'VE GOT NO NAIL AND MY FINGER LOOKS LIKE HELLRAISER! how am i supposed to make people appreciate this when my finger constantly looks like it's about to break out into song and do the two-step with Mickey Rooney?

in conclusion, sad face.