Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Welcome to the First Meeting of the Republican Book Club

People make fun of some Republican leaders for scorning any kind of activity that doesn't involve fishin' or shootin' critters or fellatin' the Constitution or hatin' the gays (while secretly suckin' cock), but that is so unfair. For example, there's a new yearly Republican get-together where candidates for chairman of the Republican National Committee all sit at a table and try to think of any books they might have accidentally read in their lives. Witness the breathtaking scholarship on display in the above video.

The first to announce his favorite book is the guy who just reflexively says The Reagan Diaries because obviously that's the only non-gay answer to the question. Hopefully he hasn't read any other books because indoctrination into socialism and sodomy officially starts when you finish your fifth Harry Potter novel.

Then there's the dingbat who says her "favorite bar" is probably her kitchen table, which is a lazy answer because that's everyone's favorite bar. Also, it doesn't actually answer the question posed, which was "what is your favorite book?" It's interesting that she heard the words "what is your favorite" and then a word beginning with "b" and she just naturally assumed that that word was "bar." (The word "book" was said pretty clearly, no?) Someone nominate this lady for Vice President, please.

But the real magic happens when Michael "the black Obama" Steele, struggling to keep a straight face, says War and Peace. Sure, Michael, we'll buy that. At least we might have if you hadn't then completely undermined yourself by saying "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times," which is such a wonderful opening line (almost as good as the opening line in my book, which all Republicans can buy here), but, sadly, is not the opening line to War and Peace. I'm sure Charles Dickens is laughing and then throwing up in his grave.

Anyway, stay tuned, because at the next book club meeting these folks will be discussing the many "trickle down economics" metaphors in Sarah Palin's classic jailhouse memoir Going Rogue.

No comments: